Is There Really Life After Childbirth?

Archive for September 2006

I DON’T WANT TO GO TRICK OR TREATING!!!!!

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CAN I HAVE HER CANDY???????

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Honey, I swear this is exactly how it happened.
I was out meandering on my cliff the other evening when I came face to face with this human guy! We both thought “Wow! It’s a fox!” at exactly the same time. Of course, we were both referring to me! Anyway, we shared this truly cosmic moment of spiritual proportions where we were able to delve deeply into each others souls. Eventually he got up and left. I continued on my merry way and thought nothing of it. Later I returned to meander once more (it is my favorite meandering spot, you know) and smelled this wonderful aroma. It was sort of fishy, but with a down home flavor I couldn’t quite put my paw on. I edged closer and discovered this quaint little restaurant sitting there with a gorgeous view of the lake. Inside was a can of…I…can’t…quite…make…it…out…let… me…just…scoot…a…little…closer…Why…it’s…TUNA! It was a can of freshly flaked, water packed, yumilicious Chicken of the Seatuna! Just sitting there! I didn’t see anyone else around, so I ease in for another sniff. Once I’m in, next to the succulent feast, the restaurant door slams shut. I’m not panicking though, because this stuff is GOOD! I was planning to run back and get you, honey, so we could share a romantic dinner by the shore, but somehow I just lost all track of time (and tuna) and suddenly noticed it was all gone! So, I decide I best be getting home so as not to worry my little Foxey-Woxey when I realize that I can’t get the restaurant door open. Hmmmmmm! This could be serious. About this same time, I notice the human returning and I start to get worried. Was that his tuna? Is he going to be upset? Am I going to have to pay? Will he believe I left my wallet at home? He didn’t seem too angry. In fact, he was down-right friendly. He picked up the restaurant and set it in the back of this car. Well, I thought that was pretty neighborly of him to offer me a ride, so I let loose with a bit of that fox urine that is sooo popular on the internet. Now I know he will never forget me.
Anyway we go to this jungle area with all these critters. There were 3 cats and 3 really ugly foxes that he kept calling “dogs”. There were varying sorts of reactions to me, but the humans were the most impressed. They kept oohhing and aahhing over me (how could they not)! Eventually I was rewarded with more tuna and other tidbits I couldn’t identify. One smelled suspiciously of cooked meat. Cooked? What is wrong with these humans?!?! After a bit, I reminded him that you might be getting concerned and of course I needed to get back to help with the kits and clean the den; so he returned me (and the restaurant) to my meandering spot. He was able to open the door and I just sauntered out (I know how much you love it when I saunter). We shared another cosmic moment and then I rushed home to share this wonderful exciting adventure with you.
I can’t believe that you think I would make something like this up!! But just in case, I asked the guy to put some pictures out on the web for proof. What do you mean “photo-shopped”? I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about!