Is There Really Life After Childbirth?

Archive for August 2006

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There is nothing harder to live with than an angry cat (well, rabid hamsters come pretty close). I have not consciously left His Royal Highness out of this blog. I just wrote critter stories as they occurred to me (OK. They occur to me more often than they appear here, but I have been a bit busy with other less important things and have been unable to maintain a daily blog. I see nothing wrong with quarterly updates and I can’t help but wonder, “Do you people have maids and personal secretaries?”) I want to stress that other animals previously mentioned at this site are certainly no more important than the one who commands the household. That would be Spooky.
Those of you who are not cat people (I admit I was formerly among this group) may not understand the significance of “commands the household.” He really is in charge. Every time we leave, we must state, loudly enough for all neighborhood pets to hear, “Spooky, you are in charge. No wild parties. We’ll be back in just a bit.” This is quite similar to the speech I made when I left teenage boys at home unsupervised, but they tended to respond quite differently. They actually hoped that I would forget this little announcement. Spooky, on the other hand, has been known to reek havoc upon other innocent pets if we should forget to affirm his position before our departure. Some of his more notable punishments include inviting everyone over to join him in a light snack at the “fern” buffet, convincing the dogs that we really did want that particular shoe chewed to shreds, and playing whack-a-mole with Snickers Peanut Buttercup starring as the unwitting mole. When we return, he can be found perched in the middle of the entry waiting patiently for us with quite a story to tell. He “tried” to tell them we would be upset, but they just wouldn’t listen. Maybe next time, they should all be locked in the garage and then he would have no trouble being in charge. In the meantime, if we insist on letting these uncivilized varmints live here, HE cannot be held responsible for their savage behavior. After all, he is “top dog”, if you will, and has yet to find the pet that will afford him the respect and deference that he so deserves.

P.S. He wants me to also mention that he was chosen as Pet of the Month on the Hill Science Diet website last year and has appeared on the cover of a special edition of “Cats 24/7”. He can be contacted through his email:

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